It takes 2 to screw up a marriage but only 1 to say “done.”

One Armed Bandit

About two weeks ago I broke my collar bone after tripping over my dog on our morning run. In my defense, he cut right in front of me in hot pursuit of a rabbit. In his defense, I’m the one that tripped.

Of course I’m right handed and it is my right arm that is in a sling for at least 4 weeks. Okay, I know it could be worse and am thankful it isn’t. But as anyone who has lived “one armed” for a while, it is a pain – literally and figuratively.  It kind of reminds me of when I first started the long march through my divorce. It was a pain literally, yes your heart really does hurt, and figuratively, who really knows the all the trials and tribulations of getting divorced until you actually go through one. In both instances everything you used to do easily and naturally all of the sudden becomes harder. As much as you wish you could do everything yourself something things you just need to ask for help with. All your normal patterns and processes are changed and, for a while you just can’t seem to get stuff right.

Paging through the Cinder book (single handed, naturally) made me think about just how relevant many of the chapters were not only to navigating through a divorce but navigating through any sort of disruptive change.

Although I think I can skip the chapter about hiring a lawyer since I’m not going to sue my dog (all he has is milk bones), I do need to gather my support system and call my sister and borrow her car (thanks Jeanne for the automatic and please don’t burn out my clutch).  I need to find and organize my paper work (in this case, medical bills).  And I really do have to accept the fact I am one-armed for awhile and that I’ll need to rewrite how each day is going to go.  And lastly, I need to remind myself that I am still in charge of me and I get to decide how I am going to deal with this. Yes indeed, everthing is going to take twice as long.  But, I’m still capable and strong.  I’m still me.

I have to admit I’m not loving my sling but I do know, if I heed Cinder’s advice I will get through this.

Love that!

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