Divorce, Dogs and Being Present

Early on in my divorce (heck, life) I learned that most things are easier when you have support.

Support comes in all different forms. We wrote Cinder as one form of support. I helped my sister and she helped me when we went through our divorces. We wondered what women did that didn’t have sisters. Neither of us could imagine going through a divorce or through our lives without having each other to lean on. So Cinder was born.

Go ahead and lean on Cinder. See yourself in her or use her to support your friends who are going through a divorce. Don’t worry about saying or doing the right thing. Just be there for yourself and for your friends.

In fact, be more like your dog! The following article from Jean, the owner of Top Dog Country Club explains in a recent newsletter:

A dog-guy recently asked me, “Jean what is it about these dogs?   The market for pets and the importance of them in people’s lives has become so incredible.”  He said, “I mean, when we grew up we all had dogs, but they were just ‘the dog’!  Now they are so much more.  Why is that?”

I believe that in a world where everything is so fast and so impersonal and so high tech and so . . .frankly . . .disposable, dogs are “so present”.  In a world of so much stress and so much stimulation and competition to be interesting, my dogs don’t care.  All they want is for me to “be present”.  There is no stress and no pressure and there are no expectations when I am with my dogs.  They only care that I am there . . . that I am “present”.

We can go on a hike . . . go to the park . . . take a drive . . . play ball . . . or do nothing at all, and that is OK.  They don’t  “read between the lines” with everything I say, twisting and turning it into something it is not.  They don’t have ulterior motives . . . or if they do, they are right there for me to see . . . never hidden.  They love me unconditionally . . . no I mean really unconditionally . . . regardless.  They don’t care that I say the right things.  They don’t believe in politically correct.  They don’t shove my mistakes in my face.  They don’t criticize what I wear or what I look like or what I do.   They are demanding . . . but for all the right reasons.  They love me and want my attention good or bad.  They read me like no person can.  They get it, when I just need a paw on my arm. They understand tears, and know how close to get  and that sometimes just silence, and a warm muzzle resting against me is enough to make me feel better.  They don’t try to change me or insist that I agree with them.  They know how to “just be present”.

Thank God for dogs.  Go spend some time with them . . . “just being present”!

Love that!

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